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 Vastile: The Colussus

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Vastile

Vastile


Posts : 124
Join date : 2013-08-07
Age : 29
Location : Indiana-Land

Vastile: The Colussus Empty
PostSubject: Vastile: The Colussus   Vastile: The Colussus EmptyThu Aug 08, 2013 1:00 am

Vastile

Vastile: The Colussus 4SGSHvf

Name: Vastile
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Epithet: The Steam Colossus
Place of Birth: Elbaf
Species: Half-Giant
Allegiance: Pirate
Crew: The SteamPunk Pirates
Bounty: Not Officially Linked to Any Crimes
Role(s): Captain, Musician, Inventor
Jolly Roger/Flag: Skull with Round Glasses, Goatee, and Newsboy Cap. Wrench and Pistol as Crossbones
Ship: The High Spirits, Dual-Hulled Sea and Airship
Willpower: 20
Dream(s): Vastile's dream is to become the best inventor in the World

Vastile: The Colussus 555565_577564258951907_1227116923_n

Vastile: The Colussus NvfsG5M


Character Appearance: Stands at roughly Three times the size of a normal man. Has round glasses, blonde goatee and sideburns, wears a brown newsboy cap, and wears a trench coat, which hides plenty of gadgets and things. Vastile has long fingers, larger feet, and strong shoulders. His hair remains in a ponytail, but when it is let loose, it can become incredible wild. His face seems mostly passive and soft.

Vastile: The Colussus 532076_577495472292119_1114642506_n


Character Personality: His personality is calm and reserved. He is very motivated, yet a little self-deprecating. He is very analytic, mostly silent, and an objectivist. Though, on the surface he has a think skin, he is actually a caring and hopeful person. While he may be mostly passive, if seeing someone being bullied or unfairly prosecuted, he becomes angry and will pursue these individuals to help them.


Character's Background: Vastile was born on the island of Giants, Elbaf. Vastile's father was a normal human, who had died prior to Vastile being born. Vastile's mother had raised him on Elbaf, but was unable to protect him from the social implications of being a half-giant. As a child on the island Vastile was not accepted in the groups of children, who towered over him. He was hated and was sometimes beaten by the children that he'd try to befriend. The Adult giants were aware of this happening, but were reluctant to stop it, some not caring and others agreeing him the anti-human stance. Vastile would return to his mother often with new bruises and injuries.

Vastile quickly found that he had a talent for invention and music. These two talents, unfortunately, were not highly valued on the island. Things which were important were physical traits, hunting abilities, and combat abilities. Vastile would lock himself in his room and tinker with technology and instruments, while other children his age were off playing hunting games and fighting each other. After being persecuted and condemned for being a Half-Giant, told he was no good at anything that matters, and beaten for it all, he found his own talents and latched on to them.

Many years on the island moved like this. Vastile living a solitary life, surrounded by others whom towered over him, and looked down on him for his size and strange likes, began to think that he was not the one at fault. Vastile, during his middle teens, began to realize that his talents were all that he had. Vastile's passion for invention and music became powered by his need to become better than the rest and show that he was just as good as those who hated him.

Vastile spent many many hours working in his room and it was here that he managed to develop his Boots and Gauntlets. Vastile developed these gadgets with the soul purpose of showing that his talents could defeat those of the other Giants on the island. He began to wear his trademark coat in order to hide his new tools. The day eventually came that some of the giants who had beaten him previously had instigated another incident. The group had surrounded him and tried to do as they had always done, but were beaten instead. Vastile has able to catch them by surprise and using that and the years of built up rage, ended the retinue of avoiding and fearing other giants.

Vastile had developed his personality around being looked down on and hated, but even as he realized that this was not all it had to be, he still kept a hold of those old feelings.

Vastile was 17, when he decided that he needed to leave his island and these hateful giants behind. Vastile took all that he had made and learned in order to create a small ship and sail away. Vastile was on the search for knowledge. He was looking for Ship Blueprints, abandoned factories, and technologies from around the world. To find these new technologies he's robbed, cheated, stolen, and bought everything from mysterious Dials to complex prints.

Vastile found an interesting clutch of information locked away in a long forgotten facility on Karakuri Island. The information he found gave him the knowledge to build his ship. Taking what he found and combining it with his own designs and that of other inventors, he was able to design The High Spirits, his Airship. The technology from the facility and from other incidents have allowed Vastile to prefect his gadgets.  

Vastile continues to sail the seas and ride the air currents, coming across new technologies and knowledge, buying or stealing them to add to his library. His quest to become the best inventor the world has ever seen will take him across the world, to discover and learn everything he can.
He keeps his ears open and follows rumors to supposed locations of interest. Someday, he'll herald a new age of discover and learning.



Vastile: The Colussus TGwv9Rz

Skills: Vastile is a Half-Giant and therefor has a large size and strength.  Is a master musician and accomplished inventor. Is decent in swordplay. Is great with firearms. Tactician skills. Has an assortment of gadgets and tech.


Combat Techniques:

Colossus Punch: A Giant Powerful Punch.

Colossus Fire Ball: A powerful punch, laced in flames, using the Colossus Gauntlets.

Colossus Tornado: A spiral Kick, which can take down trees and buildings easily.  

Steamed Colossus Tornado: A spiral Kick, powered up by pushing out steam through The Colossus Boots.

Colossus Crack Down: A high jump, which results into a cannon ball into enemies.

Steamed Colossus Crack Down: A cannon ball, started by an enormous leap, using The Colossus Boots

Colossus Toss: Throws heavy objects

Colossus Eagle Sight: Ability to see very far distances and snipe, using the Round Glasses.

Colossus Fog: A steamy fog, made using the Colossus Boots.

Colossus Barrage: Hovering and spinning at an incredible speed, while firing cannonballs from the Colossus Gauntlets.

Colossus Wild Fire: Much like the Colossus Barrage, but shooting flames.

Colossus Cutter: Much like the Colossus Barrage, but with the Colossus Sword outstretched.

Colossus Drill: A drill attack, created by spinning with The Colossus Boots and Drilling with the Colossus Sword



Inventory: Clothing is sized for him.

Round Glasses: Has curled ear pieces, so they don't fall off. Can magnify.

Newsboy Cap: Just a hat, but he hides items in the bill.

Colossus Gauntlets: Large metal gloves, which have rotating cuffs, that have different settings for interesting effects:
     Setting 1: Each Gauntlet fires 2 cannon balls.
     Setting 2: Each Gauntlet fires a small sleeping dart
     Setting 3: Each Gauntlet fires... Fire.
     Setting 4: Each Gauntlet shoots a wire of electricity.

Colossus Boots: Boots with large store of pressurized steam. Can be set into certain gadgets and used to power them. While not coupled to another gadget, can be used to skate on land, propel at high speeds, jump very high, or make a foggy steam.

Colossus Sword: A retractable sword, that is stored in his right boot. Can be unsheathed by tapping his heel a certain way, shooting the handle out with springs and then allowing it to extend.

Colossus Pistol: Stored under his coat, is basically a triforce of cannons. Barrels spin.

Colossus Coat: His trench coat, which hold other gadgets, and is fashionable.


Last edited by Vastile on Sun Sep 08, 2013 9:32 pm; edited 17 times in total
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Alphonso

Alphonso


Posts : 24
Join date : 2013-08-07

Vastile: The Colussus Empty
PostSubject: Re: Vastile: The Colussus   Vastile: The Colussus EmptyThu Aug 08, 2013 1:38 am

EDITS

Place of Birth

-I'm reluctant to allow a giant to be born in Water 7. Mainly due to the fact that they would most likely drown parts of the city and unable to function in and around Water 7.


Character Appearance

-It says in the coding to write at least 3 lines you have written two. Write more because this will not suffice as it tells us barely anything. We still don't know what he looks like at all.


Character Personality

-Your personality needs allot more too as again, this barely tells us anything about the character. Also what you have written makes very little sense. What is he like around friends? Is he a romantic? What does he lie doing? Does he feel self conscious? What you have written will not suffice please write much more.

Character Background

-Why was he pushed to make new technologies? This is just random and makes no sense at all. There is no reason for this whatsoever.

-He lived in the harbour but lived in a happy family for many years? Was this family living in the harbour as well then?

-At 7 years old he could make ships, weapons, tools, gadgets, and instruments?! This will not fly. At the age of 7 people don't learn to how to make these things and not a chance in hell they could learn how to make these things as their brain wouldn't be able to remember them or even understand half of the things needed for their creation.

-There is no reason explained in his background as to why he wants to become a pirate so the fact that he is one makes zero sense.

-His dream is not explained at all.

-How does he even know about the One Piece?

Skills

-There is no explanation for any of these skills nor the mastery level of any of these skills provided in the background. Add it or remove these skills.

Combat Techniques

-
Quote :
Colossus Crack Down: A high jump, which results in a cannon ball into enemies.
Makes sense none.

-
Quote :
Colossus Call: A bellowing yell, which can capacitance.
How?

-
Quote :
Colossus Sight: Ability to read the situation and decide the best tactical step.
This would be a skill not a combat technique. A skill which is not explained but only exists for the purpose of you demand it to be.

Weapon

-These weapons will need to be created in a weapon a sheet and honestly sound preposterous so unless you are able to write a logical way for these to work I don't see them working.


Conclusion

This app needs allot of work as it has ignored most of what was written in the character temple as a guide to go on and makes very little sense. The application must make some form of sense and currently the amount it makes is none.
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Butterfly

Butterfly


Posts : 453
Join date : 2013-08-06
Age : 25
Location : ....Equestria

Vastile: The Colussus Empty
PostSubject: Re: Vastile: The Colussus   Vastile: The Colussus EmptyThu Aug 08, 2013 10:59 pm

Approved
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Butterfly

Butterfly


Posts : 453
Join date : 2013-08-06
Age : 25
Location : ....Equestria

Vastile: The Colussus Empty
PostSubject: Re: Vastile: The Colussus   Vastile: The Colussus EmptySun Sep 08, 2013 5:22 pm

Unapproved 


Please read this announcement! ^.^ 

https://one-piece-oc-rp.rpg-board.net/t90-new-rule-and-edit-to-the-app
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Vastile

Vastile


Posts : 124
Join date : 2013-08-07
Age : 29
Location : Indiana-Land

Vastile: The Colussus Empty
PostSubject: Re: Vastile: The Colussus   Vastile: The Colussus EmptySun Sep 08, 2013 9:13 pm

How bout' now
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http://Vastile.Deviantart.com
Butterfly

Butterfly


Posts : 453
Join date : 2013-08-06
Age : 25
Location : ....Equestria

Vastile: The Colussus Empty
PostSubject: Re: Vastile: The Colussus   Vastile: The Colussus EmptySun Sep 08, 2013 9:26 pm

The highest a new OC's willpower can be is 20, highest ever is 80. Willpower can increase with each post or finished thread. The highest increase is 5 


This is the added rule 
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Vastile

Vastile


Posts : 124
Join date : 2013-08-07
Age : 29
Location : Indiana-Land

Vastile: The Colussus Empty
PostSubject: Re: Vastile: The Colussus   Vastile: The Colussus EmptySun Sep 08, 2013 9:32 pm

And now.
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http://Vastile.Deviantart.com
Butterfly

Butterfly


Posts : 453
Join date : 2013-08-06
Age : 25
Location : ....Equestria

Vastile: The Colussus Empty
PostSubject: Re: Vastile: The Colussus   Vastile: The Colussus EmptySun Sep 08, 2013 9:34 pm

Alright, Reapproved
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Vastile: The Colussus Empty
PostSubject: Re: Vastile: The Colussus   Vastile: The Colussus Empty

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